2013 Wrap Up: Playoff Recap

As we near the first anniversary of the closest the Empty Pitchers have ever come to being a part of the playoff finals, the book's stats will have to tell the tale of the Pitchers destroying TAP in Round 1, rolling to an 11-1 win over the higher seed, and then engaging Ruben's Angels in an epic Round 2 battle, before falling 5-4 in extra innings. All that aside, to Koach K, the day still remains most memorable as the closest she's ever come to starting a fistfight, following her offer of common-sense advice (e.g. take a chill pill) to a crazy-eyed Sub & Heroes banshee regarding the controversial finish of the preceding playoff game.

PLAYOFFS
Round 2 Box Score
11/2/2013
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  FINAL
EP     1  0  3  0  0  0  0  0  4
RA     0  3  0  0  0  1  0  1  5

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB AVG* 'On the Day' 
Damian RCF 4  1  1   0   0  .500  (3-6)
Alicia RF  4  1  2   0   0  .400  (2-5,w)
Greg P     4  1  3   0   0  .857  (6-7,w)
Brooke 1B  4  1  0   1  w,s .167  (1-6,w,s)
Sam SS     4  0  3   2   0  .857  (6-7,s)
Nicole C   4  0  1   1   0  .167  (1-6)
Richie 3B  3  0  1   0   0  .500  (2-4,w)
Katie 2B   3  0  0   0   0  .000  (0-5)
Brendan CF 3  0  0   0   0  .200  (1-5)
Brian LF   2  0  0   0   0  .200  (1-5)
  Pete     1  0  1   0   0 1.000  (3-3)
Alex       -  -  -   -   -  .000  (0-4)
Lisa       -  -  -   -   - 1.000  (1-1,w)
Matt       -  -  -   -   -  .500  (1-2)
Tara       -  -  -   -   -  .250  (1-4,s)

Round 1 Box Score
11/2/2013
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  FINAL
EP     0  0  3  1  0  4  3  11
TAP    0  0  0  0  0  0  1  1

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB 
Brian LF   3  1  1   0   0  
  Damian   2  1  2   3   0  
Tara 2B    5  1  1   2  sac  
Greg P     4  0  3   2   1  
Nicole C   2  0  0   0   0  
  Lisa     2  0  1   0   1  
Alex P     4  0  0   0   0 
Alicia RF  2  0  0   0   1  
  Katie    2  0  0   0   0  
Richie 3B  2  1  1   0   1  
  Brendan  2  1  1   0   0  
Brooke 1B  4  1  1   0   0  
Matt CF    2  0  1   0   0  
  Pete     2  2  2   0   0
Sam SS     4  3  3   4  sac

2B - Greg (1), Pete (1,2), Richie (1), Sam (1),
Tara (1); 3B - Greg (1), Damian (1)

*Playoff averages separate from regular season.

Week 8: Split against that stupid Fontana's Bar

After pulling off a win in a Game 1 2-0 nail biter, the Empty Pitchers settled for a split against Fontana's Bar, losing Game 2 by a run, despite having a healthy turnout, and a balanced enough attack to post 9 runs.

Richie had a superb game at third, making several key outs and delivering a couple of key hits in Game 2 and using his speed to keep the scoring pace up. Brendan and Greg continued a disturbing trend of over-the-fence outs, which I now see as a bit of a pattern (unfortunately two weeks too late) as I finally get the stats current. With the playoff match ups already set, perhaps the biggest news to come out of the game is David and Damian (both 3-5 on the day) maintaining a lead over Greg (4-6) for the 2013 batting title...with playoffs stats having historically been kept separate from the regular-season stats, it may be too late for Greg to make up that ground.

Game 15 Box Score
10/27/2013
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  FINAL
FB     0  0  1  5  2  2  0  10
EP     0  1  4  0  3  0  1  9

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB  AVG 'On the Day'
David P    4  1  2   1   0  .739 (3-5)
Julie C    4  1  0   2  w,s .313 (1-3,wlk,sac)
Brendan SS 4  1  3   1   0  .536 (2-6)
Alicia RCF 4  2  0   1   0  .292 (3-6)
Greg CF    3  0  2   3   0  .703 (4-6)
Tara RF    3  0  1   0   0  .276 (1-7)
Pete LF    3  0  1   0   0  .433 (3-5)
Nicole EH  3  0  0   0   0  .258 (1-6)
Damian 1B  3  0  1   1   0  .778 (3-5)
Katie 2B   3  0  2   0   0  .189 (0-6)
Richie 3B  3  2  2   0   0  .455 (3-5,walk)
Brian EH   2  1  2   0   0  .450 (3-5)
  Sam      2  1  2   0   0  .500 (3-5)

2B - Alicia (1), David (5), Greg (10), Katie (1),
Sam (6); OTF - Brendan (4), Greg(3)

Game 14 Box Score
10/27/2013
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  FINAL
EP     0  0  1  0  0  0  1  2
FB     0  0  0  0  0  0  0  0

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB 
Brendan CF 2  1  1   0   0  
  Damian   2  0  1   0   0  
Tara 2B    4  0  0   0   0  
Greg P     3  0  2   1   0  
Katie RF   3  0  0   0   0 
Sam SS     3  0  2   0   0  
Alicia RCF 2  0  0   0   0  
  Julie    1  0  0   0   0  
Pete LF    2  0  1   0   0  
  David    1  1  1   0   0  
Nicole C   3  0  1   0   0  
Richie 3B  2  0  1   1   1  
Brian 1B   3  0  1   0   0

2B - Brendan (4), David (4), Greg (9), Sam (5);
3B - Greg (1)

Week 7: Pitchers hold onto No. 6 seed with split against Ninja Pirates

In what sounds like a truly nerve-wracking doubleheader, the Empty Pitchers split with the Ninja Pirates (formerly the Dirt Dogs), thanks to Sam and his Baseball God. The report from Sam below:

Game 1:
We were tied going into the bottom of the 7th.  Had 2 outs.  But gave up a single.  Then their 2nd spot girl hitter (who was pretty good) hit a liner to right that was perfectly split between our fielders, went to the fence, and it was enough to get the runner from first home. Loss.  

Game 2:
We were up 5-0 going into the 6th inning, where we gave up 3 runs. Then in the 7th inning they had 2 outs and a runner on 2nd; an easy grounder to me and I choked and threw the ball into the dirt. Run came home. Their No. 3 batter came up to bat and hit a liner to right field but God was looking out for me and the runner from 1st decided to go from 1st to 3rd and was thrown out at 3B. Game over. Thank you baseball God.

Brendan won the game ball.  He was ripping it and also made the last throw to get the runner out and saved the game.

Good games. Better than wedding dress shopping.

I couldn't agree more. Stats to come once I retrieve the book this Sunday... (updated, stats below!)

We'll go into the playoffs as the No. 6 seed and take on TAP again. I like our chances; provided we beat them in the single-elimination game on Saturday, Nov. 2, game, we'll play the winner of Sub & Heroes and Rubin's Angels later that afternoon. Here's the full league standings to date:

1 - Sub & Heroes (10-0)
2 - Check Swingers (7-3)
3 - TAP (6-4)
4 - 99 Problems (6-4)
5 - Young Guns (7-5)
6 - Empty Pitchers (7-5)
7 - Ninja Pirates (5-5)
8 - Rubin's Angels (4-4)
9 - Dragons (4-8)
10 - Hot Cousins (4-8)
11 - Fontana's Bar (4-8)
12 - MediaCom (3-7)

Game 13 Box Score
10/19/2013
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  FINAL
NP     0  0  0  0  0  3  1  4
EP     0  0  3  2  0  0  X  5

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB  AVG 'On the Day'
Brendan RC 4  1  2   3   0  .591 (5-7)
Brooke 2B  3  0  0   0   0  .143 (0-7)
Greg P     3  0  3   1   0  .710 (4-7)
Stacey 1B  3  0  0   0   0  .280 (0-6)
Matt LCF   3  0  2   0   0  .560 (3-6)
Katie RF   3  1  1   0   0  .189 (2-6)
Richie 3B  3  1  1   0   0  .429 (2-6)
Kelly C    3  0  0   0   0  .167 (1-6)
Pete LF    3  1  2   1   0  .400 (4-6)
Sam SS     3  1  2   0   0  .481 (3-6,walk)

2B - Brendan (3), Greg (8), Pete (2);
OTF - Brendan(3), Sam (3)

Game 12 Box Score
10/19/2013
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  FINAL
EP     0  2  0  0  0  0  0  2
NP     2  0  0  0  0  0  1  3

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB 
Greg P     4  0  1   0   0  
Brooke 2B  4  0  0   0   0  
Sam SS     4  0  1   0   1  
Stacey 1B  3  0  0   0   0  
Matt LCF   3  1  1   0   0 
Katie RF   3  0  1   0   0  
Brendan RC 3  1  3   1   0  
Kelly C    3  0  1   0   0  
Richie 3B  3  0  1   1   0  
Pete LF    3  0  2   0   0

OTF - Greg(2), Sam(2)

Week 6: Empty Pitchers vs. Hot Cousins...Again

If half of the battle is just showing up, the Hot Cousins failed to meet that low threshold on Sunday, forfeiting Game 1, and then getting whooped with their rotating cast of ladies in Game 2, by a score of 8-4.

After the Commish caused a league-wide stir following her attempts to cancel a day and a half's slate of games 72 hours in advance (Tropical Storm Karen failed to make landfall), Tropical Storm Greg took full advantage of another week's worth of stat-padding versus the Hot Cousins, going 5-6 on the day. The Pitchers' started off Game 1 with a scorching 5 hits in a row (for the likely first-time ever), including a 2-run scoring double from Brooke. Alex added 4 hits on the day, Richie had a key two-out single to score a pair of runs when the trajectory of Game 2 was still in the air, and Lisa continued to lead the ladies in batting average, going &2-3 on the day and raising her average to an even .400.

Game 11 Box Score
10/13/2013
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  FINAL
EP     0  1  3  1  0  0  3  8
HC     0  0  1  0  1  2  0  4

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB  AVG 'On the Day'
David P    4  2  2   2   0  .778 (2-4,sac)
Nicole C   4  0  0   1   0  .280 (0-4,sac)
Greg CF    4  1  3   1   0  .750 (5-6)
Tara EH    4  0  1   0   1  .318 (2-5,walk)
Richie 3B  3  0  1   2   0  .455 (2-3,walk)
Brooke 1B  3  1  0   0   0  .190 (1-4,walk)
Brian LF   3  0  1   0   0  .400 (1-3,sac)
Katie 2B   3  0  1   0   0  .161 (2-5)
Sam SS     2  1  2   1   0  .476 (3-4)
 Matt      1  0  0   0   0  .579 (1-3)
Alicia RF  2  0  1   0   0  .222 (2-4)
 Lisa      1  0  1   0   0  .400 (2-3)
Alex EH    3  2  2   1   0  .560 (4-5)
Pete RCF   3  1  2   0   0  .316 (2-5)

2B - Sam (4); OTF - Matt (2)

Game 10 Box Score
10/13/2013
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  FINAL
HC     0  0  0  0  X  X  X  0
EP     5  2  0  0  X  X  X  7

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB 
Sam SS     2  1  1   0   0  
Tara 2B    2  1  1   0   0  
Greg CF    2  1  2   1   0  
Brooke 1B  2  1  1   2   0  
Alex P     2  1  2   1   0 
Lisa C     2  0  1   0   0  
Matt RCF   2  0  1   1   0  
Katie RF   2  0  1   0   0  
Pete LF    2  0  0   0   0  
Alicia EH  2  1  1   0   0  
Richie 3B  1  1  1   0   0  
Nicole EH  1  0  0   0   0 
Brian EH   1  0  1   1  sac
David EH   1  0  1   1  sac  

2B - Alex (2), Brooke (1), Richie (2)

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

The Empty Pitchers started to show the wear and tear of 8 seasons at the Coleman Oval, dropping two games to Balls Deep, suffering injury on the field, and worse, a bad case of the hiccups on the way home from Jeremy's.

Game 1 was ugly from the get-go, with Balls Deep spending most of their pregame warm ups attempting to cover up the too-literal team logo on their jerseys with spray paint, in an act of Commish-mandated censorship. It was ugly in the late innings as well, with the Empty Pitchers narrowly escaping the Mercy Rule, and falling by the final of 9-0.

Fielding a team of 5 guys and 5 ladies, the Pitchers’ lineup was about to take another hit, as Damian felt the cold sting of being on the wrong side of 30, and was hobbled in the first inning by a pulled hamstring. After playing some stubbornly statuesque CF, a few innings later he proved he doesn't yet have the wisdom of his years, stupidly attempting to leg out a routine grounder to the second basewoman and officially placing himself on the DL in the process*, and leading the Pitchers to suffer the indignity of accepting walk-on help from passerby Hot Cousin Javier.

Game 2 was at least a game, with the Pitchers posting a couple of runs in the first following doubles from Sam, Greg and Pete, and clung to that meager lead through five innings. Back patrolling center, Greg had a couple of nice put-outs from the outfield, and Koach K regaled the Coleman Oval boozers with her patented brand of left-field fly outs and one wicked amazing Willie Mays-esque grab in RCF.

It was the Pitchers’ first dual loss of the season, and many sorrows were drowned at Jeremy's that evening, as Damian tried to sell the team on his ability to beat Nicole at a foot race, Julie's dog-chewed mitt was put out to pasture, and Pete got his first taste of the sweetness that is a Styrofoam quart of beer.


* Don’t worry too much folks, he managed the postgame walk to the bar with plenty of pep in his step.

TAP-ed out

The Empty Pitchers split a doubleheader against TAP to close out the month of September, taking Game 1 in an 8-7 nailbiter, before the wheels fell off in Game 2.

Things hummed along for the Pitchers for the first couple innings of Game 1 at least, with the Pitchers pushing 2 runs across in the first, and with two outs on the board, posting another 3 runs in the second inning. Clinging to that same handful of runs, the Pitchers held a 5-3 lead heading into the final frame, when TAP's bats suddenly found life in the top of the 7th. With the Pitchers knocked back on their heels, TAP put 4 runs across the plate in a hurry, and the Pitchers found themselves battered, bruised and down by 2 runs. 

Thankfully, ringer ATL (6-7 on the day) and rookie Richie hadn't seen this script before. ATL got on base with a single, and was joined aboard by Richie, who followed with a single of his own sandwiched between 2 female outs. A huge RBI double from Alex and an even huge-er single from Julie brought lefty David to the plate, who with little fanfare smacked an opposite-field hit to drive in the winning run. (Thankfully, Murph was able to just barely leg her way into second base before the throw in.)

Sadly, the Pitchers melted under the hot September heat in Game 2, as a series of errors in the bottom half of the first lead to an unearned TAP lead and the Pitchers failed to find the fight to get their way back into the game.

The excuses came from every corner of the Oval, as players lamented the burden of playing with a 1-and-1 count, the minimal shade to be found along the third-base bench, and the stress of again facing Koach K's unrelenting stare following her return from a two-week sojourn. As Julie and Lisa plotted the demise of TAP's second basewoman (she of myriad theatrical backpedals out of the batter's box whenever a pitch came within 3 feet of her), it was clear the hot summer sun had gotten to the Pitchers.

The Pitchers managed a scattered single or 2 each inning the rest of the way, but could never string anything substantial together, falling by a final score of 9ish to 3. David and Damian did get it done at the top of the order, each with 4 hits, and as Damian pointed out numerous times, in lobbying hard for future lead-off consideration, he did score all of the team's pitiful 3 runs in Game 2.

 

Week 1: Pitchers triumph in scrimmage

The Pitchers kicked off the 2013 season on a beautiful September day, facing off against the Dragons in a 10-on-10 scrimmage, for which stats counted. Plenty of power was on display in the early season effort, and those over-the-fence outs better be the last Coach K witnesses this season; level swings, boys, level swings are what the Oval requires.

Scrimmage 1 Box Score
9/15/2013
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8 FINAL
EP     0  1  0  0  0  0  1  2 4
D      1  0  0  0  0  1  0  1  3

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB  AVG 'On the Day'
Matt LF    5  0  3   0   0  .600 (3-5)
Nicole C   5  0  1   0   0  .200 (1-5)
Greg P     4  1  2   0   0  .500 (2-4)
Katie 2B   3  0  0   0   0  .000 (0-3)
Peter LF   3  0  0   0   0  .000 (0-3)
Brooke 1B  4  2  2   0   0  .500 (2-4)
Sam SS     4  0  3   2   0  .750 (3-4)
Alicia RF  4  1  1   0   0  .250 (1-4)
Brendan 3B 4  0  2   1   0  .500 (2-4)
Julie EH   4  0  2   0   0  .500 (2-4)
Damian CF  4  0  2   1  sac .667 (2-3,sac)
2B - Damian (1), Sam (1);
OTF - Greg (1), Matt (1), Pete (1,2)

Pitchers Welcome Back Old Friends

After a few years' absence from the Empty Pitchers' schedule, the retooled Remainders gave the Pitchers nearly all they could handle in Week 5, even if the final result - 2 wins for the Pitchers - remained the same.

The Pitchers got off to their usual slow start in a 9-3 Game 1 win, hitting into a variety of fly outs in the early innings and finding themselves up by only a run heading into the 5th. A single by Sam, followed by the 1-2 punch of Greg and a resurgent Katie set the stage for a clutch 2-out, 2 RBI double from Brian in his much-delayed 2012 debut. A third run would later cross on a single from Brooke.

After giving up a pair of runs in the bottom of the inning, the Pitchers got back to work quickly in the 6th, scoring another 4 runs, with the final two coming on a 2-run, inside-the-park home run from Greg that killed any hope of a Remainders' comeback.

Game 2 was a 3-2 nail biter, that saw a reprise of the Pitchers' ice-cold offense and the return of David to the mound following his player loan to a team in Japan. Thankfully, he picked up some tips on throwing the Gyroball while in the Far East, and was able to bookend the Remainders, giving up only a run in the first, and a run in the seventh, and luring the their lineup into posting goose eggs in the frames in between.

The Pitchers eked out just enough offense to get the win, with Sam (walk) and David (single), coming home in the first on a double from Greg. Julie would score what turned out to be the winning run for the Pitchers in the 6th, using her patented combination of guile and determination - getting on base with a walk and crossing the plate following back-to-back singles from Greg and Stacey, and a sacrifice out from Brian.

Post-game happenings: Speaking of being strangers in a strange land, following last month's foray into an all-they-could drink brunch, the team changed it up again, enjoying a tentative first round of drinks at Keg 229 while waiting out the close of college football at Jeremy's.

While the Tater Tots and Kona bucket both get a strong thumbs up, this reviewer will hold off on issuing an official grade - the temperature of both food and drink was surprisingly unregulated by a Styrofoam vessel, the on-tap Narragansett Light was $6.50 a draft (confusing to this native RIer, who is only familiar with 2-for-$5 Tall Boy offerings of the beer), and pricing info from the barkeep on the pour-your-own table taps was much, much too vague in response to myriad lines of questioning from a clearly-salivating Murph.

Week 4: Empty Pitchers vs. TAP

Really, it should be considered nothing short of a rousing success that the Empty Pitchers managed to field a full team following a deluge of early-Sunday texts, and still get a 16-6 and 8-4 doubleheader split against Team TAP. Thanks to everyone who was able to show (and did their best to bring in recruits), to Sam for picking up the pieces and assembling them into a lineup in my wedding-related absence, and to Val for making the trek down to the Oval (though in fairness, she did get to enjoy the scenic pigeon's-eye view of the field from the train).

On his bye week, Tara's ringer Reggie Bush Rob impressed the team with his roped line drives aimed straight at the heart of the Coleman Oval fence, as did Katie, who broke through with Nicole's baby green bat to have a 4-7 day and raise her batting average to its highest point of the season. Greg managed to chip in with 7 hits of his own on the day, and in his debut at catcher, Matt kept the TAP players honest at home in Game 2, excepting of course for the 70-pound female player who took him down in a play at the plate.

Looking at the rout that was Game 1, particularly the 10(!)-run third, one has to wonder where exactly the wheels fell off in the Game 2. (Stat-padding the game book in the coach's absence? Perhaps. The more likely reason? Playing to the level of our opponent. Yet again.) But no matter, next week will bring the woeful Remainders to cure all the Pitchers' erratic offensive woes and propel us into the playoffs.

Game 8 Box Score
10/14/2012
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  FINAL
TAP    0  0  1  3  1  3  0  8
EP     2  0  0  2  0  0  0  4

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB  AVG 'On the Day'
Matt OF    4  1  1   0   0  .600 (4-8)
Tara P     4  1  1   1   1  .294 (2-7, walk)
Greg OF    4  0  3   1   0  .810 (7-8)
Stacey 1B  4  0  0   0   1  .353 (3-7, walk)
Rob OF     4  0  1   1   0  .500 (4-8)
Nicole OF  3  0  0   0   0  .190 (1-7)
Felix OF   3  1  1   0   0  .421 (2-7)
Katie 2B   3  1  1   0   1  .267 (4-7, walk)
John 3B    3  0  2   1   0  .567 (5-9)
Sam SS     3  0  2   0   0  .731 (4-7)
2B - John (2), Sam (10)
Game 7 Box Score
10/14/2012
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  FINAL
EP     2  0 10  0  0  2  2 16
TAP    1  4  0  0  0  0  1  6

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB 
John SS    6  3  3   3   0 
Katie 2B   5  2  3   0   0 
Greg P     4  3  4   2   0 
Stacey 1B  4  1  3   2   0 
Sam OF     4  1  2   4   0 
Nicole C   4  0  1   1   0 
Felix 3B   4  1  1   1   0 
Tara OF    4  1  1   1   0 
Matt OF    4  2  3   0   0 
Rob OF     4  2  3   2   0 
2B - John (1), Greg (4) Sam (9), Rob (1,2);
3B - Greg (1)

(Run the Oval) Girls

Once upon a time, nearly three softball weekends ago, the Empty Pitchers defeated the woeful Hot Cousins in a doubleheader, by scores of 13-5, and 12-2. What made the twin near-mercy wins all the more impressive was the Pitchers' stacked 6-lady lineup.

It was a cold and rainy afternoon, and my text message inbox was full of questions as to whether or not we would be playing. When the Empty Pitchers assembled on the field, at 10 minutes past the appointed hour, I looked at the ragtag bunch in front of me, and asked the question: "Oh, crap, which one of you bitches ladies is willing to pitch today?" Tara stepped forward, parting the lightly falling mist, and said she would take the ball and the mound, promising only that she would try her best.

And lo, what a glorious try it was! Playing the softball game of her life, Tara stymied the Cousins over 7 full innings in Game 1, giving up only sporadic runs and walking none. Early in the game, in the dark days when the outcome was still uncertain - the Empty Pitchers rallied behind Tara - with Brooke nabbing a line drive in right with runners on in the 3rd to kill a key rally, Murph legging out a double to start the 3rd, and the Pitchers' offense coming alive to pile on in the 9-run 4th. A slightly-concussed Rubock was all over left, making the ugliest of his ugly catches in a key spot in the 5th and posting a huge stat line at the top of the order - 3 for 3, all for extra bases, with 3 runs scored and 3 RBIs. And a walk for good measure. Oh, how a little bit of a head injury went a long way at the plate that day!

In Game 2, Tara again headed to the mound to soldier on for another start. With the Empty Pitchers sporting a 6-woman, 4-man lineup all the while, the Cousins had the gall (the reprehensable gall!) to contest having a female in both the pitcher and catcher positions. While the ump said he'd allow it (other lady duos were already in the outfield and infield), Tara said no matter, I shall move to 3rd base and finish fully emasculating these pathetically Lukewarm Cousins by making plays from the hot corner. And it was so.

In the shortened second game, with Greg on the mound, the Pitchers got plenty of offense going early, with Greg, Sam and Matt all collecting three hits to burnish their stat lines. Damian scored 3 times at the top of the order, and made a nice play in the 2nd, hurdling a slow-diving Rubock in shallow left-center to cleanly make a catch on a sinking Cousins' line drive.

The Pitchers would go on to celebrate Brooke's birthday in style at Jeremy's, with all the sliders, baked goods and fireworks she could dream of. The end.

Ump controversy brewing at Coleman

Another weekend at the Coleman Oval, another split for the Empty Pitchers, whose bats went quiet against the Dragons in Game 1, before coming alive midway through Game 2 to pull out a win. Thanks to Sam for filling in during my absence, and thanks to everyone for contributing to the below recap wrap up.

First, some collected color commentary from the Coleman to set the scene:

• Falling branches nearly took out a Pitchers' lady or three on the bench.
• Ruby had a few too many Tequila Tuesdays, causing confusion as to whether the rank smell was him, or the Coleman Oval.
• Facing the pressure of having his 12-year-old female fan club (in uniform, watching in the stands), Felix proceeded to go hitless with RISP.
• Greg went 5-6 in his season debut, picking on the poor right fielder, but also spreading the wealth to all portions of the field. Unfortunately, he faced the same while standing on the mound, getting knocked around as the Dragons hit hard balls to all corners of the Oval.

Second, much like Roger Goodell and the replacement refs, the Commish is facing a potential controversy, as commotion continues to swirl around the new ump:

• He seriously had us questioning if we should file a petition with the Commish. Besides the typical errant calls of out or safe, he called a ball fair when it rolled into foul territory some 20 feet away from home. Apparently he didn't know that it had to pass first base in fair territory because his justification was, "It bounced in fair territory first!" Sam had to use his skills of persuasion to convince him he was wrong.
• He later admitted not giving the runner an extra base on a errant throw into the dugout because, "The game is close and I didn't want the game to be decided on a call like that."
• He sucks. I'm actually afraid he's going to make us lose a game.
• I think we had a replacement ump this past game because he didn't seem to know what the rules were on foul balls. It seemed to be a simultaneous call on where the ball was in foul territory but ruled as fair.
• McKayla is not impressed with the confused ump:
• He didn't know the game ended in Game 2 until Nicole told him
• The aforementioned fundamental lack of knowledge of what constitutes a foul ball
• On Brooke's awesome stab of a hard-hit grounder while playing 2B (she ended up doing a 360 and in true All-Star manner threw the runner out at first without missing a beat), the ump's take was: "Just like Jeter."
• The umpire was fouler than the smells in Chinatown. That is all.

And now, a few tidbits I was unable to fact check:

• Brunch and all-you-can-drink bloody Marys and mimosas (not at Jeremy's) was a huge success.
• The Empty Pitchers had a steep hill to climb without their best player and future Coleman Oval Hall-of-Famer Damian "Air" Nash. 
• Julie "The Enforcer" Murphy, being held for ransom deep in the swamps of Jersey, was also absent, leaving the opposing first baseman to take over the white part of first base with no one to put up a fight.
• With Alicia also out, the trees lining left field were allowed to hold onto their leaves for at least another week.

We'll let Serena Williams have the final word on subpar umps:

Week 6: Another Round with the Brewsual Suspects

They say hindsight is 20-20, but the only lasting memory from the final game of the 2011 season was the team's needling of Greg, who needed a near-perfect day at the plate to have any hope of passing absentee John and taking the 2011 Pitchers' batting title. Greg got off to a blazing start, going 5-5 in Game 1, before the bench chatter/mounting pressure caught up to him in Game 2 (as did the woeful Brewsual Suspects, who wound up splitting the doubleheader with the Pitchers). No worries Greg, the 2012 season is but a few short weeks away.

Game 12 Box Score
11/13/2011
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  FINAL
BS     0  0  0  0  5  0  2  7
EP     1  3  0  0  0  0  0  4

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB  AVG 'On the Day'
Damian CF  4  2  4   1   0  .607 (6-8)
Mina 2B    4  0  0   1   0  .154 (0-7, walk)
Alex K. RF 4  0  1   2   0  .250 (2-8)
Alicia 3B  4  0  1   0   0  .414 (2-7, walk)
Felix SS   4  0  3   0   0  .655 (6-8, walk)
Stacey 1B  4  0  0   0   0  .370 (2-9)
Greg P     3  1  0   0   1  .760 (5-8, walk)
Nicole C   3  0  0   0   0  .320 (0-7, walk)
Matt LF    3  1  2   0   0  .680 (5-8)
OTF - Greg (1), Matt (1)

Game 11 Box Score
11/13/2011
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  FINAL
EP     1  0  2  4  0  1  1  9
BS     0  3  3  0  0  1  0  7

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB 
Felix SS   4  3  3   0   1 
Nicole RF  4  2  0   0   1 
Greg CF    5  3  5   2   0 
Stacey 1B  5  1  2   2   0 
Matt LF    5  0  3   3   0 
Alicia 3B  3  0  1   0   1 
Damian P   4  0  2   2   0 
Mina C     3  0  0   0   1 
Alex K. 2B 4  0  1   0   0 
2B - Felix (5,6), Greg (4,5,6), Matt (5)
OTF - Damian (1)

2011 Playoffs: One and Done

Apparently unable to shake off the funk that comes with a one-and-done playoff run and bring myself to author a pithy post last fall, I'm now forced to relive the pain of last season's playoff outing in updating the blog for the start of the fall 2012 season. After eeking into the playoffs as the 6th seed, the Empty Pitchers appear to have had a short but wild ride in the Commish's new format, falling to the hated Dirt Dogs by the score of 6-4 in the first round. I've erased most memories of this game from my mind, so will instead let the scorebook's stats tell the tale...

Game Only Box Score
11/5/2011
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  FINAL
EP     0  2  2  0  0  0  0  4
DD     0  0  1  0  3  2  X  6

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB  AVG 'On the Day'
Felix 3B   3  0  2   1   0  .667 (2-3)
Julie C    2  0  0   0   0  .000 (0-2)
 Lisa      1  0  0   0   0  .000 (0-1)
Sam RCF    3  0  1   1   0  .333 (1-3)
Stacey 1B  3  0  1   0   0  .333 (1-3)
Greg LF    3  1  1   0   0  .333 (1-3)
Katie 2B   3  1  3   0   0 1.000 (3-3)
David P    2  0  1   1   0  .500 (1-2)
 Alex K.   1  0  0   0   0  .000 (0-1)
Alicia RF  2  0  0   0   0  .000 (0-2)
 Mina      1  0  0   0   0  .000 (0-1)
Alex B. EH 3  0  2   1   0  .667 (2-3)
Nicole EH  3  0  0   0   0  .000 (0-3)
John SS    3  1  2   0   0  .667 (2-3)
Damian CF  2  1  1   0   0  .500 (1-2)
 Brian     -  -  -   -   -  .--- (0-0)
OTF - Sam (1)

* Note: Playoff stats do not count towards the regular-season.

Dirt Dogs Down Pitchers in Two

With Matt and Rachel watching from their Skybox, the Pitchers came crashing back down to the Coleman Oval last week, dropping both games to the Dirt Dogs, by a score of 6-5 in Game 1, and a closer-than-it-sounds score of 8-3 in Game 2.

After falling behind in the first game, pitcher Alex B. was able to hold the Dirt Dogs at bay long enough for the Empty Pitchers to begin their rally back. Stacey came up with a huge double in the fourth inning, driving in Sam and Julie, and a batter later Alex K. brought in Matt with a sacrifice, narrowing the score to 6-4. The Pitchers would claw back to score an additional run in the fifth, and Matt would attempt to literally knock the Dirt Dogs' pitcher out of the game in the sixth, but the Dirt Dogs were able to hold on for the win, as the Pitchers' seventh-inning comeback stalled after getting a pair of runners aboard. John (double, triple, walk), Brian and Damian all contributed a pair of hits in the early game, but the scatter shot offense couldn't string enough together to get it done.

Game 2 saw Greg take the ball after catching the red eye back for gametime, and, just in time for the playoffs, get a taste of what it feels like to be on the mound when the hits start dropping in. After scoring a run in the first, the Dirt Dogs bit back with six runs in the bottom of the frame, and tacked on another pair for insurance in the third. Greg did his best to help himself out, driving in all 3 of the Pitchers' runs in Game 2, while Damian collected another three hits to complete a perfect 5-for-5 day (and suddenly become much more interested in the status of his batting average).

Heading into November, John sits atop the standings with an .857 average. Greg needs to pick up the pace sitting back at .824, with the season winding down, and Matt and Sam are neck and neck for third place, with .706 and .704 averages, respectively. And no, there's no pulling a Jose Reyes at the Oval.



Next game: After last weekend's nor'easter cancelled our games with the Jaguars, we'll get a fast chance to take revenge on the Dirt Dogs, meeting them at the Coleman Oval on Saturday for the first round of the playoffs at 10 a.m.

All right, Alex K., you win for best "fun" face.

Gah, sorry Matt! Eyes closed in both of the pictures I took -
it's the 2008 team photo all over again.

Pitchers Bounce Back against Warmed-Over Cousins

With only Sam and Alicia as carryover witnesses to the softball brutality of two weeks ago, the Empty Pitchers' "B Squad" had no trouble taking two from the Hot Cousins, 10-1 in Game 1, and a closer-than-it-sounds 12-6 in Game 2.

Greg pitched Game 1, keeping the Cousins' batting order off-balance, and being the beneficiary of our opponents playing down a woman (thus saddled with an automatic out at the end of their lineup). John, Greg and Julie all had 3 hits in the early game, silencing both the Cousins' and the Cousins' at-bat boom box.

Game 2 saw Tara's departure to play in her summer team's much-delayed championship final, and David came on to pitch in a 9-versus-9 match up. A very different Oval dynamic saw normally catchable balls fall in for outfield hits, and 4 men batting in a row for both teams' lineups meant there were no opportunities for defensive sloppiness.

The Pitchers wasted no time getting on the board in a big way, nearly batting around TWICE in the second, and taking an early 8-2 lead that ended on John's only out of a 6-7 day; he must have felt some small twinge of pity for the Cousins, and grounded into a close fielder's choice to end the inning. After getting run around by Cousins' hits in the bottom of the inning, and seeing the lead narrowed to 8-6, Koach K smartly positioned herself in center field, ceding the right side of the outfield to Greg, who was able to record force-outs at second and first in the later innings on balls that would normally have been easy singles for the Cousins.

Rubock finally stopped thinking and started hitting, breaking out of his slump and getting back into his quest for a 1.000 average back on track with a 5-for-5 second game (if we conveniently forget that Game 1). Sam and Felix chipped in with 4 hits a piece in the second game, and ringer Brooke was a force for the Pitchers, pressed into duty at catcher and second, she cleanly fielded all her chances, and collected 4 hits and a walk for her morning's efforts.

But the female gold star of the day has to go to Julie. Called out of hiding somewhere near the Pennsylvania-Delaware and cajoled into playing on Saturday, Julie had 4 beautiful hits to go with 4 key RBIs on the day. More impressively, she resisted her instinctive impulses to throw down with the Cousins' first baseman after being tagged out in the face on an errant throw up the first-base line, and that discipline carried over to Jeremy's, where she overpowered Alicia in Travel Scrabble, 328-260.



Next game: Don't miss Old Timers' Day this Sunday down at the Coleman Oval and continuing on to Jeremy's afterwards. Game time is 12:30 p.m. against the Dirt Dogs, followed by chicken cheese steaks with Matt and Rachel afterwards.

Alicia took some solace in knowing she and Julie outlasted neighboring drinkers from the Defeated Cousins, as well as the fact that she wasn't the one who resorted to playing "POO."

The Good, The Bad and the Even Worse When I Reflect Back on It

If nothing else, the twin losses the Pitchers suffered at the hands of Sub & Heroes this past weekend were clearly a team effort. After losing Game 1 by a kinda-respectable score of 6-1, the Pitchers promptly went to work enduring a soul-crushing, Mercy Rule defeat in six innings, by the final of 14-2.

Pressed to provide highlights of Game 1, on the defensive front, we'll go with Stacey's hustle after an overthrown ball to first base. She tracked down the ball and promptly made a perfect throw to Lou at the plate, recording a much-needed 5th inning out (and, for the moment, keeping the game within reach, 4-2). Offensively, Sam was solid at the top of the lineup, delivering 3 hits, including the team's lone extra-base hit of both games (a double in the first).

Game 2 saw the Pitchers give up 14 runs over the first three innings, and with their heads literally hanging, were never able to climb back into the game.

Softball carnage was everywhere the Pitchers were on the field. Grounders passed through wickets on both sides of the infield. The Pitchers' bats and bench went silent (excepting, of course, for the occasional curse from Koach K). Alex B. channeled the pain into his second Over-the-Fence out of the day. And then the Koach ran into a double play to kill our lone rally. (Remarked ringer Brendan: "In all the games we've played together, that was the worst play I've ever seen from you.")

We'll write this one off due to the inevitable midseason collision of a) unseasonably warm weather with b) visibly hung-over Pitchers. Much thanks to Lou for joining us to pitch two valiant games - without your effort it could have been much, much worse. And thanks to Brendan, who covered a lot of ground for us in left, and, along with Alex K., had a respectable day at the plate (3-5). Really guys, we're normally much better than this.

It's really the part beginning at the 34:25 mark that I'm most interested in sharing:



Next game: We continue battling through the toughest stretch of our schedule with a doubleheader against another returning team, the Hot Cousins. Game time at the Oval is 10 a.m. this Saturday. Please plan your arrival for 9:45 a.m.

Week 3: Pitchers Noodle around the Oval

A week after the driest Coleman Oval Rainout since the Commish's No-Rain Rainout of 2007, the Pitchers were raring to get back into action.

The game plan may have been thwarted by Joe C. and his band of No Shows not showing, but the team was able to regroup, mixing a little batting practice with $1.50 noodles in anticipation of next week's test against Sub & Heroes. Ladies - be sure to watch this team's hitters hitting to the right side.



Next Game: The switch has been been made, we'll play Saturday at 12:30 p.m., NOT Sunday as per the original schedule.

Pitchers Knock Bruisual Suspects Around

The Pitchers took two ho-hum games from the Bruisual Suspects on Saturday, nonchalantly posting wins by the scores of 16-3 and 12-0.

Fielding a team of 9, the Suspects were a team cruising for a bruising, and the Pitchers took full advantage of the chance to pad their stat lines before the Suspects preemptively cried "Mercy Rule" in both games.

As the Pitchers piled on the pain in Game 1, Koach Korndog seized the moment to make another one of her softball dreams come true (see below). She never imagined her Asians in the Infield experiment would go so hideously awry in the 5th, when she threw the delicate Far East-meets-Coleman Oval off-balance. Too many Asians? Or not enough, thanks to the pitcher-catcher tandem of David and Julie? Regardless, the Suspects were able to post their only runs of both games in that frame of Game 1.

Game 2 saw Greg's 2011 pitching debut, with the Pitchers quickly getting up on the Suspects and never looking back. The only drama throughout the late game was how best to avoid the specter of openly-urinating Coleman Oval fans, and whether the game's at-bats still "counted" as the Suspects proclaimed to anyone within earshot that they were now playing for "fun."

What Pitchers took most advantage of the cakewalk? John was a perfect 7-for-7 on the day with 6 RBIs. Greg was right back into the swing of things (hardy, har) with a shameless 6 hits and 6 RBIs of his own. The ladies bounced back from a tepid Week 1, with Stacey picking up a handful of hits and Nicole climbing the ladder to rediscover her power-hitting stroke. David found a new way of being David, working a walk in the midst of an offensive barrage. And Sam somehow snuck in a pair of over-the-fence bombs without raising my ire.



Next Game: Same drill. Be at the Oval for noon on Saturday as we take on Team Jason.

One, two...

Three, four!

Pitchers Open Season with a Split

The Pitchers eased into their 2011 season, splitting a doubleheader with Fontana's Bar -- winning Game 1 by an extra-inning score of 3-2, and suffering a loss in Game 2 by the same score.

An uncharacteristically strong EP defense and adjusting to a new ump's strike zone was the name of Game 1 for the Pitchers. A Damian-to-David strike mowed down a Fontana's runner in the third, and an inning-ending double play two innings later got the Pitchers out of a jam, with right fielder Alicia quickly getting a squib down the line back into second base, and relay man Felix making a perfect throw to David at the plate to mow down a runner attempting to score. David then didn't hesitate in whipping the ball down to Sam at third, where a tag was applied in time to Fontana's greedy hitter.

The Pitchers got on the board in the bottom of the first, thanks to a lead-off triple from Sam and an RBI single from Damian. Fontana's managed to scrape together an answering run of their own in the fourth, and the teams remained locked in a 1-1 tie going into the bottom of the 8th. Making his Empty Pitchers debut, Matt capped a 3-for-3 game with a lead-off double and was able to come home with the winning run when fleet-of-cleat Felix induced an errant throw to second on his game-winning single.

Alex B. came on in early relief in Game 2 and found himself smack dab in a pitcher's duel for the ages. After a pair of inherited runners scored, the Pitchers D held up, with rookies Mina and Alex recording key outs, John providing his usual steady hands at short and Damian diving face-first into the weeds for a heart-stopping catch, using the knee-high ground cover to the team's advantage.

Buddies Alex K. and Damian scored the game's only runs for the Pitchers, when the team was finally able to string together hits from Damian, John and a shot from Nicole that redeemed the ladies (at that point, a combined 0-17 on the day). Unfortunately, tough-luck hits dropped in in the bottom of the 7th and Fontana's recorded their first-ever win against the Pitchers, who were left to console themselves with suspect "buckets" of beer at Jeremy's. We'll have to wait until the playoffs to take our revenge.

Fashion Plate of the Game: Congratulations to Julie, whose green-white EP throwback paired with a khaki Miller Lite hat from her drinking collection caused an early-season sensation in the dugout.

Next Game: We take on newbie (I think) Team Kaitlin this Saturday, Sept. 17. Plan your Coleman Oval arrival for noontime.

Week 8: NY Dirt Dogs Redux

Game 16 Box Score
11/20/2010
TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7 FINAL
DD     ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?   More Than 4
EP     0  0  0  0  2  2  0   4

PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB  AVG 'On the Day'
Julie 2B   1  0  0   0   0  .400 (1-3, sac)
David CF   3  1  3   1   0  .607 (6-6)
Alicia P   3  0  0   0   0  .346 (1-6)
Brian LF   3  1  2   1   0  .278 (5-7)
Nicole C   3  0  1   1   0  .296 (2-7)
Sam SS     3  0  1   1   0  .485 (3-7)
Rachel RF  3  0  0   0   0  .294 (1-7)
Nick 3B    3  1  1   0   0  .583 (3-7)
Tara RCF   3  1  2   0   0  .588 (4-7)
Matt 1B    3  0  2   0   0  .667 (5-7)

2B - Brian (1), David (5), Nick (5), Tara (2)

Game 15 Box Score
11/20/2010 TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL

EP     0  1  0  2  1  2  3   9
DD     1  2  3  2  4  1  X   13
PLAYER    AB  R  H  RBI  BB 
Brian CF   4  2  3   1   0 
Nicole RF  4  1  1   1   0 
Sam 3B     4  0  2   2   0 
Rachel RCF 4  0  1   0   0
Nick LF    4  2  2   0   0
Tara 2B    4  1  2   2   0
Matt P     4  2  3   0   0
Julie C    2  0  1   1   0
David SS   3  0  3   1   0
Alicia 1B  3  1  1   1   0

2B - Alicia (1), David (4), Nick (4), Nicole (1), Tara (1)
3B - Nick (1), Sam (1); OTF - Nick (?)?