Pitchers Exhibit Their Brand of Softball

Facing the cold, multitudes of pigeons and a surprisingly pumped-up competitor, the Empty Pitchers dropped their final two games of the season to the Phantoms, ending their inaugural season on a five-game losing streak, but saving some face by posting an overall winning record of 7-5.

It might not have been a pretty end, but the doubleheader seemed fitting in the overall scheme of the season, from the Commish's timely (!) arrival to throw an earlier laissez-faire exhibition game off the field, to Coach Korney's arrival with a nick-of-time lineup; from Kate's choice of puffy-coat fieldwear to Chrissy's third-to-first cannon. For better or for worse, the afternoon finale served as suitable showcase for the Pitchers' brand of ball.

Greg's superhero efforts lead the team in Game 1, and after he tired of tripling in back-to-back at bats, he mixed things up in the final frames with an over-the-fence out. Adam and Matt also had a pair of hits apiece in the first game, which the Pitchers dropped 8-3.

In the absence of a flu-ridden Raul, Jon stepped in admirably as the starting pitcher for Game 2, helping his cause by scoring the game's only run. With temps falling from "Uncomfortable," to "This Is No Longer Fun," David managed to mentally block the cold out and deliver two hits. Adam also matched Greg's first-game feat with an over-the-fencer of his own, and exhibited a graceful flair kick in pitching the final few innings of a Something-1 loss.

Thanks to everyone for playing. Hopefully we can do it again next fall.

Sadness is the final Styrofoam cup of the softball season.

The Power of Chantharaj! Fans in 40-degree temps!

Empty Pitchers vs. Phantoms

Game 12 Box Score (4ish innings)
11/11/2007

TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
P      3  2  ?  ?  X  X  X   More Than Us
EP     1  0  0  0  X  X  X   1

PLAYER       AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG
3  Jon        2  1  1   0   0   .591
5  Alicia     2  0  1   0   0   .414
1  David      2  0  2   1   0   .560
4  Kate       2  0  0   0   0   .056
15 Damian     1  0  1   0   0   .500
7  Chrissy    1  0  0   0   0   .211
10 Adam       1  0  0   0   0   .615
14 Rachel     0  0  0   0   1   .125
81 Greg       1  0  1   0   0   .636
13 Julie      1  0  0   0   0   .316
44 Matt       1  0  0   0   0   .692
17 Val        1  0  0   0   0   .313
19 Nicole     1  0  0   0   0   .286

Over-the-Fence Out - Adam (2)

Game 11 Box Score
11/11/2007

TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
P      3  1  1  1  0  2  0   8
EP     1  0  1  0  1  0  0   3

PLAYER       AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG
81 Greg       3  2  2   0   0   .619
17 Val        3  0  0   1   0   .333
44 Matt       3  0  2   1   0   .750
19 Nicole     3  0  1   0   0   .300
3  Jon        2  0  2   0   0   .600
5  Alicia     2  0  1   0   0   .407
10 Adam       2  1  2   0   0   .667
4  Kate       2  0  0   0   0   .063
1  David      2  0  1   1   0   .522
7  Chrissy    2  0  0   0   0   .222
15 Damian     2  0  1   0   0   .476
14 Rachel     2  0  0   0   0   .125
13 Julie      1  0  0   0   1   .333

3B - Greg (1,2)
Over-the-Fence Out - Greg (3)

Playoffs: Empty Pitchers vs. Stupid Cousins

Playoff Game 1
10/13/2007

TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
HC     4  0  0  0  0  0  0   4
EP     0  0  0  1  0  0  0   1

PLAYER       AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG*
1  David      4  0  3   0   0   .750
5  Alicia     4  0  0   0   0   .000
21 Pat        3  0  2   0   0   .666
13 Julie      2  0  1   0   1   .500
44 Matt       3  0  1   0   0   .333
4  Kate       3  0  0   0   0   .000
3  Jon        3  0  0   0   0   .000
11 Kristine   2  0  1   0   1   .500
81 Greg       3  1  1   0   0   .333
10 Adam       3  0  1   1   0   .333

3B - Greg (1)

* Play-off stats separate from regular season

Chill Settles on Pitchers' Playoff Bats

Well, the good news is that we won't have to play that 9:30 a.m. game next week.

The Empty Pitchers fell behind the hated Hot Cousins early, and were never able to come back, getting knocked out of the playoffs in a 4-1 loss. Perhaps most painful is knowing that the Cousins scored all of those runs with two outs.

David did get the job done at the top of the order, going 3-for-4 on the day, Pat had a couple of hits, and Greg had a triple in the fifth inning (eventually scoring the Pitchers' lone run on a hit by Adam), but other than that, there was little to report offensively. The Pitchers' bats were frigid on the first truly autumnal-feeling day of the fall.

The team mustered a bit of a comeback in the bottom of the seventh, putting a couple of runners on, but it was too little, too late. With luck, the two remaining doubleheaders will get the team back on track, as well as dim the feelings of devastation Coach Korney has carried with her these past few days ... maybe somewhere therein lies the true reason the Commish schedules the playoffs in the midst of the regular season.

2007 Pitchers' Regular-Season Stats

Regular-season statistics (10 total games played):

PLAYER   G AB  R  H 2B 3B HR OTF* RBI BB  AVG
Matt     6 13  1  9  0  0  0   0   2   0 .692
Greg     9 22  4 14  3  2  0   3   4   0 .636
Pat      7 21  5 13  1  0  0   3   3   0 .619
Adam     6 13  3  8  1  0  0   2   5   0 .615
Jon      9 22  9 13  3  0  0   1   2   0 .591
David   10 26  4 14  2  0  0   2   6   1 .560
Damian   8 22  1 11  0  0  0   0   4   0 .500
Raul     7 19  2  9  0  0  0   0   2   1 .500
Alicia  10 30  6 12  0  0  0   0   3   1 .414
Kristine 1  3  0  1  0  0  0   0   2   0 .333
Julie    8 22  4  6  1  0  0   0   3   3 .316
Val      8 16  1  5  0  0  0   0   4   0 .313
Nicole  10 27  3  6  0  0  0   0   0   6 .286
Chrissy  8 19  3  4  0  0  0   0   1   0 .211
Rachel   6 11  0  1  0  0  0   0   0   3 .125
Kate     8 19  1  1  0  0  0   0   1   1 .056

* Over-the-Fence Out

View Playoff Stats Season Schedule & Results

Blood, Sweat, Orange Slices Not Enough

Was it the early hour of the game? The unseasonably warm temperatures? The distraction of Ruben's lady Angels? A truly quality opponent? The untimeliest of defensive lapses by the Empty Pitchers? Julie ending her Iron Woman streak of coed softball attendance? Perhaps the hatching and subsequent swarming of Canadian soldiers?

Whatever it was, the unsettling end result was the Pitchers dropping two games to the undefeated Ruben's Angels on Sunday -- falling again via the Mercy Rule in the first game, by a score of 15-3, and dropping the time-crunched second game by the score of 8-4. The Pitchers' record now stands at 7-3 on the season.

In the early game, Pat and Matt (2 hits each) were the only Pitchers with multiple hits, while Rachel also walked her way aboard the bases twice and Val had a key hit in the fourth to drive in a pair of runs. The Pitchers' bats looked more lively in the late game, with Nicole, David, Alicia and Greg (2 RBIs) all contributing a pair of hits, and Kate snapping out of a slump with her first hit of the season. Though that game was called on account of time, the Pitchers were able to stage a rally, bouncing back after an ugly defensive half of the fifth to load the bases in the top of the sixth. The team was ultimately only able to push one run across the plate, but the Pitchers achieved a moral victory of sorts, ending their three-game run of only scoring three runs a game.

Next week is the playoffs. If Dane Cook were here, I'm sure he'd share with us a cliché-ridden promo for the likely Hot Cousins at Pitchers match up.

Poor Pat (left), bloodying his knees at least paid off with an out; Jorge (center) fights pests the only way he knows how; poor David (right), dirtying his uniform did not pay off. Luckily, who doesn't appreciate an excuse to get, that, dirt off your shoulder?

Empty Pitchers vs. Ruben's Angels

Game 10 Box Score (6 innings)
10/7/2007

TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
EP     0  0  0  3  0  1  X   4
RA     2  1  0  0  5  X  X   8

PLAYER       AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG
21 Pat        3  1  1   0   0   .619
19 Nicole     3  0  2   0   0   .294
1  David      3  1  2   0   0   .524
5  Alicia     3  1  2   1   0   .400
77 Raul       3  1  1   1   0   .500
7  Chrissy    3  0  0   1   0   .250
81 Greg       2  0  2   1   0   .611
14 Rachel     2  0  0   0   0   .167
44 Matt       2  0  1   0   0   .778
4  Kate       2  0  1   0   0   .071
3  Jon        2  0  0   0   0   .556
17 Val        2  0  1   0   0   .417

2B - Pat (1); Greg (3)
Over-the-Fence Out - Pat (3)

Game 9 Box Score (6 innings)
10/7/2007

TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
RA     3  3  4  0  3  2  X   15
EP     0  0  0  2  1  0  X   3

PLAYER       AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG
3  Jon        3  0  1   0   0   .625
4  Kate       2  0  0   0   0   .000
21 Pat        3  0  2   0   0   .667
5  Alicia     3  1  1   1   0   .364
1  David      3  1  1   0   0   .500
7  Chrissy    2  1  1   0   0   .308
  14 Rachel   2  0  0   0   2   .250
81 Greg       3  0  0   0   0   .563
19 Nicole     1  0  1   0   0   .214
  17 Val      2  0  1   2   0   .400
77 Raul       3  0  1   0   0   .533
44 Matt       3  0  2   0   0   .857

Over-the-Fence Out - David (2)

Six Weeks In, Pitchers In First

At the kinda-sorta, not-really midpoint of the season, the Empty Pitchers are holding on to first place in the league:

     1 - Empty Pitchers (7-1)
     2 - NY Dirt Dogs (7-2)
     3 - Ruben’s Angels (6-0)
     4 - OMD (4-3)
     5 - Hot Cousins (3-2)
     6 - The Honey Nut Ichiros (3-3)
     7 - Remainders (2-7)
     8 - Phantoms (1-3)
     9 - Sub & Heroes (1-4)
   10 - Arup Green (1-5)

The league's traditional (and somewhat non-sensical) playoffs begin next weekend -- all single-game contests. The Pitchers will take on the winner of Arup Green vs. the Hot Cousins Saturday, Oct. 13, at 11 a.m.

If they get the win there, they'll play again the following Saturday (Oct. 20) at 9:30 a.m., against the winner of the Remainders vs. Ruben's Angels. And, if the Pitchers can take that hypothetical match-up, they'll play in the league championship game, which happens the same day at 1 p.m.

Commish Chantharajes Pitchers

It was a sad, sad Sunday for the Empty Pitchers, who saw their dreams of an undefeated season dashed by the Hot Cousins in Game 2 of a weekend doubleheader.

The Pitchers handily defeated the Cousins in the early game, by a nerve-wracking score of 3-1. Matt and Greg lead a 15-Pitcher offensive attack with a couple of hits apiece, but it was the bottom fifth of the order (Jon, Val and David) that succeeded in getting runners on board to score the team’s trio of runs in the fourth.

In the late game, the male Cousins were finally able to take advantage of testosterone-laden hitters batting back-to-back-to-back-to-back in their lineup, thanks to an elaborate ploy orchestrated by the Commish herself in the early game, and which prevented the Cousins from having to play with an automatic out in their order. Though it has to be noted that the Pitchers themselves certainly screwed the pooch defensively in a 15-3 massacre that ended early thanks to the mercy of the 12-run Mercy Rule.

Matt again picked up a pair of hits (starting his season 4-for-4), while Jon and Pat both had a couple of hits, in a game otherwise notable only for putting the Pitchers’ suddenly anemic offense on display. Thankfully, the team will have a chance to shake off the doldrums with one more doubleheader left to play before the start of the playoffs.

Post-game pictures, pictures, pictures!

Note the Kristine-shaped hole in the upper left.

The Sunday Brunch of Softball Champions.

Empty Pitchers vs. Hot Cousins (Again)

Game 8 Box Score (6 innings)
9/30/2007

TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
EP     1  0  1  1  0  0  X   3
HC     0  1  0  4  6  4  X   15

PLAYER       AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG
3  Jon        3  0  2   1   0   .692
5  Alicia     3  0  0   0   0   .368
1  David      2  1  1   0   0   .533
13 Julie      1  0  1   0   1   .353
81 Greg       2  0  1   1   0   .692
14 Rachel     2  0  1   0   0   .250
44 Matt       2  0  2   0   0  1.000
19 Nicole     2  0  0   0   0   .154
77 Raul       1  0  0   0   1   .583
7  Chrissy    2  1  1   0   0   .273
10 Adam       2  0  1   0   0   .600
4  Kate       2  0  0   0   0   .000
21 Pat        2  1  2   1   0   .667
17 Val        2  0  0   0   0   .375
15 Damian     2  0  1   0   0   .474

2B - David (2); Julie (1)

Game 7 Box Score
9/30/2007

TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
HC     0  0  0  0  1  0  0   1
EP     0  0  0  3  0  0  X   3

PLAYER       AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG
44 Matt       2  1  2   1   0  1.000
14 Rachel     2  0  0   0   0   .000
81 Greg       2  0  2   0   0   .727
5  Alicia     2  0  1   1   0   .438
77 Raul       2  0  1   0   0   .636
13 Julie      2  0  0   0   0   .313
10 Adam       2  0  0   0   0   .625
19 Nicole     2  0  0   0   0   .182
21 Pat        2  0  1   0   0   .615
7  Chrissy    2  0  0   0   0   .222
15 Damian     2  0  0   0   0   .471
4  Kate       2  0  0   0   0   .000
3  Jon        1  1  1   0   0   .700
17 Val        1  1  1   0   0   .500
1  David      1  0  1   1   0   .583

Pitchers to Honey Nut Ichiros: Sayonara

The Empty Pitchers ran their record to 6-0 on Sunday, defeating the Honey Nut Ichiros in a doubleheader by scores of 8-4 and 9-6.

Adam followed the Pitcher tradition of making a major offensive contribution in his debut, going 3-for-3 with an astounding four RBIs and a pair of runs. Damian and Raul (the first game’s winning pitcher) also picked up three hits each, while Jon continued his torrid pace at the plate, going 2-for-2, and connecting with Julie on an outfield relay to record a key out at the plate.

In the second game, tough guys Greg and Pat showed some restraint, keeping the ball in the park for a change and picking up three hits each. David rolled out of bed in time to pick up his third W of the early season, while Damian had the play of the game in right centerfield, making a shoestring catch with runners on to end an inning and an Ichiros rally.

Not that the lady Pitchers failed to contribute to the team effort in their own special ways. Val picked up her first-ever RBI before being forced out of the first game with a pulled groin; Nicole took a page from her 2006 season to effectively Chantharaj the Ichiros pitcher into walking her an unheard of six times between the two games; and Kate, also making her Pitcher debut, came through on two fronts: 1) Constructing lovely daisy chains for the entire team, and later, 2) Charming Jeremy’s barkeep Timmy into free shots for the whole team. Well done to all.

Empty Pitchers vs. Honey Nut Ichiros

Game 6 Box Score
9/23/2007

TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
HNI    0  3  1  0  0  1  1   6
EP     3  0  4  1  0  1  X   9

PLAYER       AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG
81 Greg       3  1  3   1   0   .667
  77 Raul     1  0  0   0   0   .667
5  Alicia     4  1  1   0   0   .429
3  Jon        4  2  2   1   0   .667
13 Julie      3  2  1   2   1   .357
1  David      3  0  1   0   1   .500
19 Nicole     0  1  0   0   4   .222
21 Pat        4  1  3   2   0   .636
4  Kate       3  1  0   1   1   .000
10 Adam       3  0  2   1   0   .833
15 Damian     3  0  1   1   0   .533

2B - Greg (1,2); Jon (3)
Over-the-Fence Out - Jon (1); David (1); Adam (1)

Game 5 Box Score
9/23/2007

TEAM   1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
EP     0  4  0  4  0  0  0   8
HNI    1  0  0  1  1  1  0   4

PLAYER       AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG
15 Damian     4  0  3   1   0   .583
  81 Greg     2  1  1   1   0   .500
5  Alicia     4  0  2   0   0   .500
77 Raul       4  0  3   1   0   .750
13 Julie      4  0  0   0   0   .364
21 Pat        3  1  1   0   0   .571
  1  David    2  0  0   0   0   .556
4  Kate       3  0  0   0   0   .000
3  Jon        2  2  2   0   0   .800
19 Nicole     2  2  1   0   2   .222
10 Adam       3  2  3   4   0  1.000
17 Val        2  0  1   1   0   .333

2B - Jon (2); Adam (1)
Over-the-Fence Out - Greg (2); Pat (1,2)

Pitchers Cool Down Hot Cousins

In another well-played game, the Empty Pitchers came out on top of the [Not-So-] Hot Cousins last night, with an 8-to-3 win.

Ringers Jay and Art provided much of the evening's offensive firepower. Jay had a perfect day at the plate, scoring two runs and contributing four timely RBIs on the night (humble fellow that he is, he noted that meant he was directly responsible for 75 percent of the team's scored runs). Playing under the alias "Bollywood Bobby," a bearded Art went 2-for-3, with a trio of RBIs. And making his Empty Pitchers debut, Jon also had a strong game, going 2-for-3 and scoring three times.

Though Julie responded well to being moved up to the 2-hole in the batting order, and David remained strong in the face of adversity known as Umpire Marvin's strike zone, the game ball had to go the Sisters Chantharaj. With runners on late in the game, Nicole effectively Chantharaj-ed* the obnoxious Cousin in the Yellow Hat to record a key inning-ending out, while Val later collected her first official hit on the Coleman Oval.

* Chantharaj (v.) - An act or procedure intended to achieve an end by deceptive means, most often by giving or leading the opposing team's batters to feel a false sense of safety in hitting to the right side.

Empty Pitchers vs. Hot Cousins

Game 4 Box Score (5 innings)
9/19/2007

TEAM    1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
EP      0  3  3  0  2  X  X   8
HC      1  0  0  2  0  X  X   3

PLAYER       AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG
15 Damian     4  1  1   0   0   .500
13 Julie      3  0  2   0   0   .571
1  David      3  0  1   1   0   .714
5  Alicia     2  2  2   0   1   .500
3  Jon        3  3  2   0   0   .666
7  Chrissy    3  0  0   0   0   .285
SB Jay        3  2  3   4   0  1.000
19 Nicole     3  0  1   0   0   .142
SB Art        3  0  2   3   0   .666
17 Val        3  0  1   0   0   .333

2B - Jon (1); Jay (1)

Tack on another pair of wins for the Pitchers

It might not have been the way the Empty Pitchers prefer to take their wins, but nonetheless, they took the double-forfeit on Saturday, running their season record to 3-0. The team still made the most of a beautiful fall day, squaring off in some intersquad 5-on-6 action, and playing to a 2-2 tie.

And, lest anyone complain about making the trek to the Coleman Oval for nothing, the team was also able to witness the entire life cycle of a Bum Fight from the relative safety of the field level -- starting from half-hearted wrestling on the sidewalk, progressing to the throwing of some drunken punches and culminating in the final super-human heaving of a trash can.

2007 Empty Pitchers Schedule

Weekend games, with the exception of the preposterously early-scheduled playoffs, are doubleheaders. Each game lasts about an hour, give or take:

Friday, Sept. 7 @ 6 p.m. (W, 7-5, over OMD)
Recap Stats

Saturday, Sept. 15 @ 2:30 p.m. (W, W, via forfeit, over Team MIA)
Recap

Wednesday, Sept. 19 @ 6 p.m. (W, 8-3, over Hot Cousins)
Recap Stats

Sunday, Sept. 23 @ noon (W, 8-4, W, 9-6, over Honeynut Ichiros)
Recap Stats

Sunday, Sept. 30 @ 2:30 p.m. (W, 3-1, L, 3-15, against Hot Cousins)
Recap Stats

Sunday, Oct. 7 @ 9:30 a.m. (L, 3-15, L, 4-8, against Ruben's Angels)
Recap Stats

Saturday, Oct. 13 @ 11 a.m. - Game 1 of single-elimination playoffs
(L, 4-1, against Hot Cousins)
Recap Stats

OFF weekend of Oct. 20, 21

Saturday, Oct. 27 @ noon (Rained Out)

OFF weekend of Nov. 3, 4

Sunday, Nov. 11 @ 2:30 p.m. (L, 3-8, L, 1-?, against the Phantoms)
Recap Stats

View Directions to the Field 2007 Player Stats

To the Coleman Oval You Should Go

Have a hankering to see the Empty Pitchers live? And, chances are, partake of a post-game empty pitcher of your own?

Getting to the Coleman Oval (our own under-the-Manhattan-Bridge Field of Dreams), is as easy as getting to any other totally pain-in-the-ass location that NYC has to offer.

You can either:

• Take the F train to East Broadway, then walk towards the bridge, heading west on Madison (passing P.S. Something- or-Other on your right during the first block), before banging a left onto Market;
  
• Walk 15 minutes from any of the Canal Street subways, going southeast on Canal Street and eventually veering right onto Market; or,
• Ride in the comfort of the Official Team Bus, the M15, which stops on Market, just two blocks north of the field (you'll know you're close when all the signs are in Chinese).

View Larger Map

Empty Pitchers Open Season with a Win

It was an impressive inaugural game for the Empty Pitchers, who gutted out a 7-to-5 win over ad agency OMD on Friday. David pitched a complete game, along with a perfect 4-for-4 at the plate. And at the top and bottom of the order, respectively, Damian and Kristine helped a number of ducks on the pond find their way home, each plating two runners throughout the course of the game.

But the game ball went to Julie "Murph" Murphy, who, in addition to a solid day with her bat, also contributed her trademark stalwart defense behind the plate. With OMD threatening to tie the game in the late innings, Julie executed a soaring leap -- in one motion, snaring Damian's throw from center field and still having time to spare in applying a firm tag on a lumbering male OMD runner. All this, mind you, without so much as a flinch.

Looking down at her fallen prey, she could be seen kicking sand, and admonishing the runner, "Not on Murph's field, b*tch." The play was clearly the one that broke OMD's spirit.

Empty Pitchers vs. OMD

Game 1 Box Score
9/7/2007

TEAM    1  2  3  4  5  6  7   FINAL
EP      0  3  0  2  0  0  2   7
OMD     0  2  1  0  1  0  1   5

PLAYER       AB  R  H  RBI  BB   AVG
15 Damian     4  0  3   2   0   .750
19 Nicole     4  0  0   0   0   .000
81 Greg       4  0  2   0   0   .500
5  Alicia     4  1  1   0   0   .250
21 Pat        4  1  3   0   0   .750
7  Chrissy    4  1  2   0   0   .500
1  David      4  1  4   2   0  1.000
13 Julie      4  2  2   1   0   .500
77 Raul       4  1  3   0   0   .750
11 Kristine   3  0  1   2   0   .333

2B - David (1)
Over-the-Fence Out - Greg (1)