After a few years' absence from the Empty Pitchers' schedule, the retooled Remainders gave the Pitchers nearly all they could handle in Week 5, even if the final result - 2 wins for the Pitchers - remained the same.
The Pitchers got off to their usual slow start in a 9-3 Game 1 win, hitting into a variety of fly outs in the early innings and finding themselves up by only a run heading into the 5th. A single by Sam, followed by the 1-2 punch of Greg and a resurgent Katie set the stage for a clutch 2-out, 2 RBI double from Brian in his much-delayed 2012 debut. A third run would later cross on a single from Brooke.
After giving up a pair of runs in the bottom of the inning, the Pitchers got back to work quickly in the 6th, scoring another 4 runs, with the final two coming on a 2-run, inside-the-park home run from Greg that killed any hope of a Remainders' comeback.
Game 2 was a 3-2 nail biter, that saw a reprise of the Pitchers' ice-cold offense and the return of David to the mound following his player loan to a team in Japan. Thankfully, he picked up some tips on throwing the Gyroball while in the Far East, and was able to bookend the Remainders, giving up only a run in the first, and a run in the seventh, and luring the their lineup into posting goose eggs in the frames in between.
The Pitchers eked out just enough offense to get the win, with Sam (walk) and David (single), coming home in the first on a double from Greg. Julie would score what turned out to be the winning run for the Pitchers in the 6th, using her patented combination of guile and determination - getting on base with a walk and crossing the plate following back-to-back singles from Greg and Stacey, and a sacrifice out from Brian.
Post-game happenings: Speaking of being strangers in a strange land, following last month's foray into an all-they-could drink brunch, the team changed it up again, enjoying a tentative first round of drinks at Keg 229 while waiting out the close of college football at Jeremy's.
While the Tater Tots and Kona bucket both get a strong thumbs up, this reviewer will hold off on issuing an official grade - the temperature of both food and drink was surprisingly unregulated by a Styrofoam vessel, the on-tap Narragansett Light was $6.50 a draft (confusing to this native RIer, who is only familiar with 2-for-$5 Tall Boy offerings of the beer), and pricing info from the barkeep on the pour-your-own table taps was much, much too vague in response to myriad lines of questioning from a clearly-salivating Murph.
Really, it should be considered nothing short of a rousing success that the Empty Pitchers managed to field a full team following a deluge of early-Sunday texts, and still get a 16-6 and 8-4 doubleheader split against Team TAP. Thanks to everyone who was able to show (and did their best to bring in recruits), to Sam for picking up the pieces and assembling them into a lineup in my wedding-related absence, and to Val for making the trek down to the Oval (though in fairness, she did get to enjoy the scenic pigeon's-eye view of the field from the train).
On his bye week, Tara's ringer Reggie Bush Rob impressed the team with his roped line drives aimed straight at the heart of the Coleman Oval fence, as did Katie, who broke through with Nicole's baby green bat to have a 4-7 day and raise her batting average to its highest point of the season. Greg managed to chip in with 7 hits of his own on the day, and in his debut at catcher, Matt kept the TAP players honest at home in Game 2, excepting of course for the 70-pound female player who took him down in a play at the plate.
Looking at the rout that was Game 1, particularly the 10(!)-run third, one has to wonder where exactly the wheels fell off in the Game 2. (Stat-padding the game book in the coach's absence? Perhaps. The more likely reason? Playing to the level of our opponent. Yet again.) But no matter, next week will bring the woeful Remainders to cure all the Pitchers' erratic offensive woes and propel us into the playoffs.
Game 8 Box Score 10/14/2012 TEAM 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 FINAL TAP 0 0 1 3 1 3 0 8 EP 2 0 0 2 0 0 0 4
PLAYER AB R H RBI BB AVG 'On the Day' Matt OF 4 1 1 0 0 .600 (4-8) Tara P 4 1 1 1 1 .294 (2-7, walk) Greg OF 4 0 3 1 0 .810 (7-8) Stacey 1B 4 0 0 0 1 .353 (3-7, walk) Rob OF 4 0 1 1 0 .500 (4-8) Nicole OF 3 0 0 0 0 .190 (1-7) Felix OF 3 1 1 0 0 .421 (2-7) Katie 2B 3 1 1 0 1 .267 (4-7, walk) John 3B 3 0 2 1 0 .567 (5-9) Sam SS 3 0 2 0 0 .731 (4-7)
2B - John (2), Sam (10)
Game 7 Box Score 10/14/2012 TEAM 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 FINAL EP 2 0 10 0 0 2 2 16 TAP 1 4 0 0 0 0 1 6
PLAYER AB R H RBI BB John SS 6 3 3 3 0 Katie 2B 5 2 3 0 0 Greg P 4 3 4 2 0 Stacey 1B 4 1 3 2 0 Sam OF 4 1 2 4 0 Nicole C 4 0 1 1 0 Felix 3B 4 1 1 1 0 Tara OF 4 1 1 1 0 Matt OF 4 2 3 0 0 Rob OF 4 2 3 2 0
2B - John (1), Greg (4) Sam (9), Rob (1,2); 3B - Greg (1)
Once upon a time, nearly three softball weekends ago, the Empty Pitchers defeated the woeful Hot Cousins in a doubleheader, by scores of 13-5, and 12-2. What made the twin near-mercy wins all the more impressive was the Pitchers' stacked 6-lady lineup.
It was a cold and rainy afternoon, and my text message inbox was full of questions as to whether or not we would be playing. When the Empty Pitchers assembled on the field, at 10 minutes past the appointed hour, I looked at the ragtag bunch in front of me, and asked the question: "Oh, crap, which one of you bitches ladies is willing to pitch today?" Tara stepped forward, parting the lightly falling mist, and said she would take the ball and the mound, promising only that she would try her best.
And lo, what a glorious try it was! Playing the softball game of her life, Tara stymied the Cousins over 7 full innings in Game 1, giving up only sporadic runs and walking none. Early in the game, in the dark days when the outcome was still uncertain - the Empty Pitchers rallied behind Tara - with Brooke nabbing a line drive in right with runners on in the 3rd to kill a key rally, Murph legging out a double to start the 3rd, and the Pitchers' offense coming alive to pile on in the 9-run 4th. A slightly-concussed Rubock was all over left, making the ugliest of his ugly catches in a key spot in the 5th and posting a huge stat line at the top of the order - 3 for 3, all for extra bases, with 3 runs scored and 3 RBIs. And a walk for good measure. Oh, how a little bit of a head injury went a long way at the plate that day!
In Game 2, Tara again headed to the mound to soldier on for another start. With the Empty Pitchers sporting a 6-woman, 4-man lineup all the while, the Cousins had the gall (the reprehensable gall!) to contest having a female in both the pitcher and catcher positions. While the ump said he'd allow it (other lady duos were already in the outfield and infield), Tara said no matter, I shall move to 3rd base and finish fully emasculating these pathetically Lukewarm Cousins by making plays from the hot corner. And it was so.
In the shortened second game, with Greg on the mound, the Pitchers got plenty of offense going early, with Greg, Sam and Matt all collecting three hits to burnish their stat lines. Damian scored 3 times at the top of the order, and made a nice play in the 2nd, hurdling a slow-diving Rubock in shallow left-center to cleanly make a catch on a sinking Cousins' line drive.
The Pitchers would go on to celebrate Brooke's birthday in style at Jeremy's, with all the sliders, baked goods and fireworks she could dream of. The end.
Another weekend at the Coleman Oval, another split for the Empty Pitchers, whose bats went quiet against the Dragons in Game 1, before coming alive midway through Game 2 to pull out a win. Thanks to Sam for filling in during my absence, and thanks to everyone for contributing to the below recap wrap up.
First, some collected color commentary from the Coleman to set the scene:
Falling branches nearly took out a Pitchers' lady or three on the bench.
Ruby had a few too many Tequila Tuesdays, causing confusion as to whether the rank smell was him, or the Coleman Oval.
Facing the pressure of having his 12-year-old female fan club (in uniform, watching in the stands), Felix proceeded to go hitless with RISP.
Greg went 5-6 in his season debut, picking on the poor right fielder, but also spreading the wealth to all portions of the field. Unfortunately, he faced the same while standing on the mound, getting knocked around as the Dragons hit hard balls to all corners of the Oval.
Second, much like Roger Goodell and the replacement refs, the Commish is facing a potential controversy, as commotion continues to swirl around the new ump:
He seriously had us questioning if we should file a petition with the Commish. Besides the typical errant calls of out or safe, he called a ball fair when it rolled into foul territory some 20 feet away from home. Apparently he didn't know that it had to pass first base in fair territory because his justification was, "It bounced in fair territory first!" Sam had to use his skills of persuasion to convince him he was wrong.
He later admitted not giving the runner an extra base on a errant throw into the dugout because, "The game is close and I didn't want the game to be decided on a call like that."
He sucks. I'm actually afraid he's going to make us lose a game.
I think we had a replacement ump this past game because he didn't seem to know what the rules were on foul balls. It seemed to be a simultaneous call on where the ball was in foul territory but ruled as fair.
He didn't know the game ended in Game 2 until Nicole told him
The aforementioned fundamental lack of knowledge of what constitutes a foul ball
On Brooke's awesome stab of a hard-hit grounder while playing 2B (she ended up doing a 360 and in true All-Star manner threw the runner out at first without missing a beat), the ump's take was: "Just like Jeter."
The umpire was fouler than the smells in Chinatown. That is all.
And now, a few tidbits I was unable to fact check:
Brunch and all-you-can-drink bloody Marys and mimosas (not at Jeremy's) was a huge success.
The Empty Pitchers had a steep hill to climb without their best player and future Coleman Oval Hall-of-Famer Damian "Air" Nash.
Julie "The Enforcer" Murphy, being held for ransom deep in the swamps of Jersey, was also absent, leaving the opposing first baseman to take over the white part of first base with no one to put up a fight.
With Alicia also out, the trees lining left field were allowed to hold onto their leaves for at least another week.
We'll let Serena Williams have the final word on subpar umps:
The Empty Pitchers kicked off their 2012 fall campaign with a split against the Dirt Dogs, losing 9-4 in Game 1 before bouncing back in Game 2 with a resounding 8-0 win.
The new:
The slow-moving ump was the last to arrive at the field (30 minutes late for gametime), and in the wake of numerous delayed calls, could clearly learn a thing or four about proper form from Felix
Brooke made her official Empty Pitchers debut after an October call up last season, and
Yet another beautiful color combo for the new unis was unveiled.
The same old:
A stellar pitching performance from David (who made sure to conserve his best offensive self for his start)
Julie getting fired up at the plate and being accused of blocking the basepaths
Infield fielding excellence from John and Felix
Alex stating he had finally "figured out" the right swing to use at the Oval, before promptly hitting the next pitch he saw over the fence, and
The Brett Favre of the team, Nicole, talking her annual nonsense retirement-talk.
Alex pitched Game 1 for the Pitchers, and kept the team in the game all the way. For his sake, the Pitchers were thankfully able to avoid the rough defensive start that occassionally accompanies their first innings. The Pitchers got out of the first giving up only a run, highlighted by a toss in from centerfielder Sam that reached Julie at the plate in a perfectly- calibrated five hops and a two-yard roll.
Perhaps fueled by their own new unis (blaring red MLB World Series t-shirts featuring the Rangers and Cardinals, likely plucked from the discount bins at Jack's), the Dirt Dogs managed to get a couple runs up on the Pitchers as too many balls found a hole and/or divot in the outfield.
Controversy came in the 4th - with Koach K rubbing elbows with the hobos behind centerfield, searching in vain for the Clincher that fell victim to David's over-the-fence bomb - another bouncing throw came back into the mound, getting past Alex and rolling towards Julie, who was smartly backing up the throw between third and home. With her patented catlike reflexes, Julie swiped at a Dirt Dog lumbering towards home. While the ump called the runner out for stumbling outside the basepaths to avoid her tag, Murph's anger at the runner's bitching continued well into her first big beer at Jeremy's.
Game 2 was an inspirational 8-0 win, with the team clearly pulling together for Koach K's triumphant return to the softball field following a 3-month stint on the DL. The left-field trees took a foul ball beating, and by game's end the Koach (0-3 at the plate) had already hit eBay in search of a heavier piece of lumber with which to rediscover her timing. Luckily, with the opening game under their belts, John (4-for-4), Felix and Sam (both 3-for-3), all had polar-opposite second games at the plate, stringing together an unstoppable 8, 9, 1 in the batting order. By the time the Dirt Dogs subbed out their whiney pitcher for their douchey pitcher, it was too late - the Pitchers had a 5-run lead, and the game clock was running out.
Next game: Same time, same place - 10 a.m. at the Coleman Oval next Saturday, where we'll take on the Dragons.
Sadly, Week 1 of the 2012 season brought the Empty Pitchers and the Coleman Oval a rainout/tornado watch.
We'll try again next Saturday with a 10 a.m. match up versus the nefarious Dirt Dogs, who were 0-3 against last season, including our one-and-done playoff run.
With your Saturday afternoons now free, I'll leave you with Clay Aiken's take on the Coleman Oval, for those of you who neglected to catch it on Season 12, Episode 13 of "Celebrity Apprentice."
In this clip, Clay attempts to find a suitable filming location for the final task, in which he and Arsenio Hall are charged with creating a 30-second commercial promoting the charities they are playing for. After the initial segment, jump ahead a few minutes to see Clay try (unsuccessfully) to use his celebrity to get onto the turf of the Murry Bergtraum field a block south of the Oval, and then just after the 1-hour mark, to watch him meet with children in the Coleman Oval Hobo Section:
NEW!- PLAYOFFS - Sunday, Nov. 11 at 10 a.m. vs. Sub & Heroes. Game 2 potentially at 1 p.m. (LOSS)
The top 8 teams play single-elimination playoff games the SECOND weekend in November thanks to Hurricane Sandy.
We're the No. 5 seed and will play No. 4 seed Sub & Heroes in the 10 a.m. game on Sunday, Nov. 11. If we win, we play the winner of Gotham City Sluggers (No. 2 seed) vs. Rubin's Angels (No. 7 seed) at 1 p.m. The championship game will be played TBD the weekend of Nov. 17-18.
NEW! - RESCHEDULED - Saturday, Nov. 17 at 3 p.m. vs. the Young Guns CANCELED - TEAM-WIDE DISINTEREST
Congratulations to John on being the first Pitcher to close out a season with an > .800 batting average. I think the New York Post has a term for this kind of sporting excellence...and no, I don't mean its "LINEPT" headline:
They say hindsight is 20-20, but the only lasting memory from the final game of the 2011 season was the team's needling of Greg, who needed a near-perfect day at the plate to have any hope of passing absentee John and taking the 2011 Pitchers' batting title. Greg got off to a blazing start, going 5-5 in Game 1, before the bench chatter/mounting pressure caught up to him in Game 2 (as did the woeful Brewsual Suspects, who wound up splitting the doubleheader with the Pitchers).
No worries Greg, the 2012 season is but a few short weeks away.
Game 12 Box Score 11/13/2011 TEAM 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 FINAL BS 0 0 0 0 5 0 2 7 EP 1 3 0 0 0 0 0 4
PLAYER AB R H RBI BB AVG 'On the Day' Damian CF 4 2 4 1 0 .607 (6-8) Mina 2B 4 0 0 1 0 .154 (0-7, walk) Alex K. RF 4 0 1 2 0 .250 (2-8) Alicia 3B 4 0 1 0 0 .414 (2-7, walk) Felix SS 4 0 3 0 0 .655 (6-8, walk) Stacey 1B 4 0 0 0 0 .370 (2-9) Greg P 3 1 0 0 1 .760 (5-8, walk) Nicole C 3 0 0 0 0 .320 (0-7, walk) Matt LF 3 1 2 0 0 .680 (5-8)
OTF - Greg (1), Matt (1)
Game 11 Box Score 11/13/2011 TEAM 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 FINAL EP 1 0 2 4 0 1 1 9 BS 0 3 3 0 0 1 0 7
PLAYER AB R H RBI BB Felix SS 4 3 3 0 1 Nicole RF 4 2 0 0 1 Greg CF 5 3 5 2 0 Stacey 1B 5 1 2 2 0 Matt LF 5 0 3 3 0 Alicia 3B 3 0 1 0 1 Damian P 4 0 2 2 0 Mina C 3 0 0 0 1 Alex K. 2B 4 0 1 0 0
2B - Felix (5,6), Greg (4,5,6), Matt (5)OTF - Damian (1)
Apparently unable to shake off the funk that comes with a one-and-done playoff run and bring myself to author a pithy post last fall, I'm now forced to relive the pain of last season's playoff outing in updating the blog for the start of the fall 2012 season.
After eeking into the playoffs as the 6th seed, the Empty Pitchers appear to have had a short but wild ride in the Commish's new format, falling to the hated Dirt Dogs by the score of 6-4 in the first round. I've erased most memories of this game from my mind, so will instead let the scorebook's stats tell the tale...
Game Only Box Score 11/5/2011 TEAM 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 FINAL EP 0 2 2 0 0 0 0 4 DD 0 0 1 0 3 2 X 6
PLAYER AB R H RBI BB AVG 'On the Day' Felix 3B 3 0 2 1 0 .667 (2-3) Julie C 2 0 0 0 0 .000 (0-2) Lisa 1 0 0 0 0 .000 (0-1) Sam RCF 3 0 1 1 0 .333 (1-3) Stacey 1B 3 0 1 0 0 .333 (1-3) Greg LF 3 1 1 0 0 .333 (1-3) Katie 2B 3 1 3 0 0 1.000 (3-3) David P 2 0 1 1 0 .500 (1-2) Alex K. 1 0 0 0 0 .000 (0-1) Alicia RF 2 0 0 0 0 .000 (0-2) Mina 1 0 0 0 0 .000 (0-1) Alex B. EH 3 0 2 1 0 .667 (2-3) Nicole EH 3 0 0 0 0 .000 (0-3) John SS 3 1 2 0 0 .667 (2-3) Damian CF 2 1 1 0 0 .500 (1-2) Brian - - - - - .--- (0-0)
OTF - Sam (1)
* Note: Playoff stats do not count towards the regular-season.
